Operation Waterlogged

In the ongoing battle of Rebecca vs. The Yard Service (Yard Service: 2, Rebecca: 0), I have come up with a creative tactic (not a "strategy", mind you) to keep the Mighty Downspout Extender attached to the house.

Superglue.


But not only did I permanently affix the Extender, I have also Completely Eliminated the source of the struggle by removing all grass underneath it.

Rather than leave a naked patch of dirt, I've made a little dry stream bed to handle the water runoff.



New Score - Yard Service: 2, Rebecca: 1

The Ballardia Barbecue Index

Two Atmospheric Sciences professors at the UW, Cliff Mass and Mark Albright, have created a new metric to track our dismal weather, called the "Barbecue Index". Komo News has the full story, but in a nutshell, this index tracks the number of times since mid-March when the temperature hits 60 degrees or warmer, which appears to the floor for Barbecue weather here in Seattle. We do set our standards low here in the Emerald City of Continual Gloom.

The scientists looked through past temperature records and discovered that 2008 is the worst year of the "Barbecue Index" since 1917. And this was back in June.

Which brings to mind the Ballardia Barbecue Index.

I think we'll define the BBI as the number of days we Actually barbecued here in Ballardia. And if we want to get fancy, we might track that against the "regular" Barbecue Index to see whether our problem is weather related.

Maybe.

Last year, our Ballard Barbecue Season was hindered by the rotted back steps, which, both for Function and Safety, we had blocked off by our 36" GE refrigerator.

This year, with the Fisher Wood Stove out of the way and fridge relocated, we had a small problem with the Case of The Missing Back Steps.

Carpenter Jim removed the rotted back steps back in March, but replacement progress halted pending decent weather. Perhaps the Barbecue Index was directly correlated to the Carpenter Jim outdoor Construction Project Index?

Goodness resumed in July, when I returned from a Portland work-a-thon to discover a rebuilt set of back steps, sans railing. But Railing is not essential for Barbecue Access.

Leaving only the weather as our excuse.

Looking at today's forecast, you might just think there's not much reason NOT to use the grill for tonight's dinner....a little chilly for August, yes, but it meets the Barbecue Index threshold defined by our UW scientists.....Or does it?

Let's do a quick reality check, shall we?

Our forlorn, very wet outdoor dining realm:

Our very wet, rebuilt steps:

I didn't think "Partly Sunny" meant the rest of the fraction was meant to be "Partly Pouring with Thunder".

And our outdoor thermostat says 55. FIFTY FIVE at FIVE PM IN AUGUST.

Our Ballard Barbecue Index? 5 times. Maybe 6. With quality predictions like these, why not plan on a barbecue?

The Last Straw

Back when we had our flooding incidents, and I first discovered the Mighty Downspout Extender right next to the back drain, I did wonder why it wasn't attached. After I attached it, and a few months later saw another water incident in the basement, I noticed it had myseriously been disconnected again. I didn't detach it, Martin didn't detach it....which left the yard service.

When I moved in, and mowing season started, I grafted on to my neighbor's yard mowing service. It seemed to make sense - our lawns join together, so this meant they would be tidy at the same time, lending a nice, uniform look to our joint properties. So even after I conclusively proved that the yard service was disconnecting the Mighty Downspout Extenderwhile mowing and propping it up against the side of the house rather than reattaching it, I didn't make a big deal of it - Ijust reconnected it myself every time and made a to-do list item for myself to find a permanent, non-detachable solution.

What I did communicate to the yard service - clearly, making sure they understood - was that I was gardening and they were not to mow the "weeds" in my garden. I thought they understood this, as mowing season this year started in April, and they managed to avoid that area from April through June, in accordance with my instructions.

July, though, is another story. When I came back from a business trip to my freshly mowed lawn, I discovered a freshly mowed herb garden as well. I've lost 3 oregano plants, two dill plants, a thyme, a rosemary, and my temper.

I considered losing my yard service as well.

Now that I've had a day to calm down, I've decided to deduct the cost of the plants from their bill, and send them a note explaining why. If that works, they get another chance. If not, I may have to do the unthinkable - mow it myself.