What exactly is the point of this product?

I need to put up chair rail, and it seems like having something super sticky - stickier than my normal thinset - would be a good idea. So after a visit to my local Home Despot, I picked up a little tub of Ceramic Tile Adhesive. Very sticky stuff.

After I got it home, I took a closer look at the disclaimer in fine print. It says "Not for use in areas of prolonged water exposure". Now I ask you, what does one usually tile? Oh yes, backSPLASHes and TUB surrounds and SHOWER enclosures. What do those things have in common? Let me think. Oh yes, PROLONGED WATER EXPOSURE.

So what EXACTLY does one tile using ceramic tile adhesive where there ISN'T 'prolonged water exposure?

The Decapitated bird feeder

Dorothy was quite the birder, with three bird feeders scattered about the yard, which have remained sadly empty since our purchase of Ballardia.

There's quite a variety of interesting wildlife that I can't identify, not being Nature Girl, though I suppose that one of these days I should get out my unused copy of The North American Field Guide to My Cat's Tasty Snacks and make an attempt.

All of the little birdies seems united in their understanding that SOMEONE at my house is supposed to feed them. They look at me just like my cats do when they realize I am holding a can opener in one hand and a can of Fancy White Albacore Tuna Packed in Spring Water in the other.

Back when we had a functional bird feeder, I filled it with a fine mix of no-sprout seeds, and promptly discovered that I had created a squirrel feeder. And can they pack it away! Frustrated, I turned to web surfing to solve my problem. I found all sorts of ingenious little squirrel-deterrent feeders - for $68.95 and up.. No thank you. For $68.95 and up, I have home improvement projects awaiting my attention!

So....how to encourage the correct wildlife? With the power of the Internet at my disposal, I quickly discovered that Birds, unlike Mammals, do not taste the stars in their Thai food - a byproduct of Nature's Need to propagate those chili pepper seeds via The Bird Distribution Network. And, with the power of the condiment section of my refrigerator at my disposal, I quickly discovered that coating my birdseed with Tabasco sauce does the trick nicely. Birds still love it; squirrels in their disgust beheaded the bird feeder.

Never Put off until Tomorrow what can be done the Day After

I have one of those sinus-y colds where my ears feel like they have earplugs in already, even though they don't. And I don't think there's room in there for the foam ones.

This LEGITIMATE illness is not to be confused with Tiling Apathy, which has also struck swiftly and severely this weekend.

I will not be firing up the tile saw until the mucus departs.

Wood Stoves and Covered Wagons

The Trusty Fisher Wood Stove, with a little help from Craigslist, has moved on to a New Life.

Far better than its repurposed function as a Wine Shelf at Ballardia, It will be heating a sheep wagon, carefully restored and outfitted like a small guest room or Camping Alternative.

The little Fisher stove, with its small footprint, is apparently the favorite choice for heating up these miniscule little residences.

And so my little wood stove is moving on to a higher calling. I'm so proud.

I'm also a little in awe of the creativity of the Seattleite who came up with this nifty idea and is managing to sell the sheep wagons for $35k, after, well, paying considerably less for the component parts like my wood stove.

After a short moment of silence in honor of the Trusty Fisher Wood Stove, I've pushed the fridge over to the former wood stove location, and we can now use the back door to step out into the.....

Oh.

We can now use the back door to step out into the gaping void of Nothingness.

But it looks good from the inside, at least it does if you ignore the hole in the wall where the chimney used to be.

ok, so everything at Ballardia looks better if you squint.

A little wall repair

About a year ago, when my home improvement shopping exceeded the rate at which I worked on Actual home improvement, I bought a box of pre-mixed joint compound, and proceeded to use, well, about a cup of it fixing spots around the cutouts from our wiring updates.

I am quite pleased to report that after a full year of sitting on the shelf, it's just as good as new, unlike that evil Thinset.

This is such a handy thing to just have around. Every day after work, I can just scoop a little out of the box, and swipe another coat over the former trim section needing repair. It's not an involved, complicated process - just 10 or 15 minutes a day.

Even I can manage that during the work week.

Fashion Friendly Earplugs

My Super Burly MK Diamond Tile Saw cuts through tile like butter, but makes enough noise to violate OSHA regulations.

I get the pack of foam earplugs for my projects, sold in bulk in Safety Yellow.

So imagine my excitement when I found Lowe's carrying them in Fashion Fluorescents!

At least, I was excited, until a quick swipe with a Q-tip after tiling activity revealed a disturbing Earwax Color.

One can imagine my now bright multicolor eardrums now that I've polished off the full pack.

This can't be good.

The Chair Rail Height Dilemma

As you can see from the "before" photo, the bathroom in its original incarnation had wood trim supporting an inexplicably large quantity of towel bars. In this picture, I'd already removed 2 bath hooks and a towel bar in the interest of not losing an eye while showering, but you can see the residual mounting hardware.

Naturally, I removed trim and towel bars alike prior to beginning this project. Which brought me to my next design struggle. Do I put the Chair Rail at the same height as the former trim, thereby allowing me to skip the wall repair step?

It's quite tempting, but the former trim location is too high, and I'm concerned that the equivalent subway tile wainscot will leave the wall with that fashion-forward look of an old man with his pants hiked up to his armpits.

I think I will just buck up and do the wall repair, and put the trim where I want it.

And this conveniently lets my tiling progress as far as putting up some gratuitous trim today, even though I didn't work as diligently on it as I did yesterday.

Maybe I can even get a bit of chair rail up during the week.